Height of Decadence
by akaeve
Summary: This is one of Ducky's waffling long winded stories.
1. Chapter 1 The Voyage

Doctor Mallard and Mr Palmer looked at their latest guest, a Captain Alistair Stewart, US Navy. Captain Stewart had met a very sticky end, by being found wrapped round the drive shaft of the ship.

"This reminds me of a Captain I used to know, well mother knew him, he plied the North Atlantic. He was employed by the Cunard Line, used to sail the Southampton to New York route. The Cunard Line, as you know, Mr Palmer, is based at Santa Clarita, which over the years has become quite a centre for the filming and producing many television programmes. The Valencia area is particularly popular I believe, but I digress. It was many years ago, Mother had come into a little money and had decided that she wanted to do the ultimate travel experience. She had booked us a sea cruise to England, and the return by Concorde."

"I always would have loved the high life, the style, but then I suppose I was born too late," Jimmy replied, "I mean for the real style the ambiance."

"The QE2… The Queen Elizabeth the 2nd, one of its final trips was in 2003, the journey, was quite interesting, but we didn't do the whole cruise. I say we, but what we had were two outside modest single cabins on the Mauretania deck. It gave mother, all the pampering that she wanted but within our budget, I mean you only sleep in a cabin, really."

Ducky made his way round the body inspecting it, but continued his tale.

"We left New York on Sunday the 1st of June 2003, from the New York Cruise Terminal, it's on the Manhattan's West Side, and did you know that in 2003 the terminal handled 900,000 passengers. It was a 6 hour journey from Reston, and well I realise now that she was going into the early stages of Dementia. It was only when we got home I realised just how far she was gone. I blame myself in a way, I was a doctor and I couldn't even recognise or diagnose my mother's illness, but I digress."

"Sometimes Dr Mallard, it is when you are close to someone, and their everyday actions, you don't realise, they don't register, the actions I mean," Jimmy replied trying to ease the sorrow.

"Quite my boy, but I must continue. We arrived at Southampton on June the 7th, it was a delightful Saturday summer morning, but mother had been particularly difficult, she had forgotten to take her morning charcoal pills and her flatulence was a little, overpowering to say the least, she always blamed the corgis, which of course she now couldn't. I now realise it was the quantity of prunes and Brussel sprouts she used to eat. Not at the same time I may add, but she always did like prunes in the morning or figs."

"What happened then?" Jimmy urged the good Doctor to continue, as he handed him the marker for what was left of the Captain's chest.

"We were in dock for the day, Mother and I, she decided she wanted to go on the Bath/Stonehenge day trip, I decided that I would like to do the Titanic Trail, a nice leisurely stroll round the town. We met up later and then it was a night sail to South Queensferry, in Scotland."

"But Dr Mallard, was the QE2 not too big to get into the Port Edgar?" Jimmy now asked.

"Good heaven laddie, how did you learn of Port Edgar? It was, as you know, once called HMS Lochinvar and was home to the Royal Navy Fishery Protection Squadron….minesweepers. It is a little known fact that Prince Charles, the future King of Great Britain, did in fact command a minesweeper, the HMS Bronington in 1976, and he used to drink in North Queensferry."

"Fascinating Dr Mallard, so where did the ship dock?" Jimmy now enquired.

"Because it would never have got under the Forth Rail Bridge or the Road Bridge it anchored at what is called Hound Point, from where passengers are ferried to Rosyth, for processing so to speak, before travelling onto the various excursions that they may wish, either north to the highlands or into Edinburgh," as Ducky began to peal open the chest.

"It was interesting to note, that while we sailed up to Hound Point, we were in fact almost parallel to were our deck namesake was broken up. To be correct Mr Palmer, there were two Mauretania's and each was broken up within 5 miles of each other. The first at Metal Industries, a shipbreakers at Rosyth in 1935, while the 2nd Mauretania ended her days in Ward's scape-yard at Inverkeithing some thirty years later," Ducky now continued using the bone cutters to open the rib cage.

"Mother and I alighted, as we were going no further, and made our way to Edinburgh; we would not be continuing on to Norway, as we were visiting friends in the capital. Mother was going to stay a week or so, while I decided to visit York. I so wished to visit my namesake. That most famous of locomotives, the Class-A 4468 Mallard."

"So were you going to fly back from Edinburgh?" Jimmy now asked, "Since I do know that you can fly direct to Washington via Shannon in Ireland."

"No, mother had decided, and I was quite willing to agree with her for once, that we would return in style, by Concorde. You realise that in 1962, BOAC, that would be the British Overseas Aircraft Company, long haul flights, and Cunard formed BOAC-Cunard Ltd to operate scheduled services to North America. However this operation was dissolved in 1966. No, we were to return to New York in one of British Airways Concorde's. 2003 was the final year that it flew to New York, so you can imagine it was quite a sentimental journey with both our modes of transport retiring, so to speak in the same year."

"I believe it is quite narrow, very much like a bullet, and very expensive," Jimmy added.

"Oh it was Mr Palmer. The standard return fare from London to New York in 2003 was £6,636, so you can imagine the round trip for mother and I did stretch to a pretty penny. But as I said mother had come into a little money and this was her treat as we say in Scotland."

Neither of them heard the door slide open, and Gibbs enter the room.

"Got anything for me Duks?" was all he could ask.

"Apart from being extremely mangled, I haven't really started my autopsy yet."

Gibbs just looked at the two men and turning left the room.

"And for that Jethro, you can just wait until Mr Palmer and I have a cup of tea," Ducky muttered under his breath.

"Heard that Dr Mallard."

tbc


	2. Chapter 2 Edinburgh

As Jimmy and Ducky now sat at Dr Mallard's desk sipping their tea. Jimmy urged the good doctor to continue.

"So where did your mother stay when you went to York?"

"Merchiston, a very swish and expensive area of Edinburgh, J. used to live there, as presently do Ian Rankin, Alexander McCall Smith, and my favourite Tartan Noir writer, Lin Anderson, she is best known as the creator of forensic scientist Rhona MacLeod. And may I say she does write a good Post Mortem."

"So what was your mother going to do when she was there?" Jimmy continued to ask.

"Afternoon tea, she had decided that a week of living it up, or should that be eating it up, in some of the swanky hotels in Edinburgh, would be in line with the cruise. But as we had arrived on the Saturday in the capital, we did not partake, and Sunday, being Sunday, in Scotland we went to the kirk, St Giles, situated on the Royal Mile," Ducky continued.

"But afternoon tea, that does sound so Colonial, which I know your mother knew all about."

"Yes, so she started on Monday in the Balmoral, used to be called the North British, a traditional railway hotel built for the North British Railway Company, situated above Waverly Station. In the 20th century there used to be an elevator that took you right from the platform straight into the hotel reception, but it was done away with when the hotel was renovated, but it was where I would depart on my journey to York, but may I add, it was a very delicious tea. I later found out, from the brochures she brought back with her, that the week went well."

"What other hotels did she visit, may I ask and what sort of things did she eat?"

"From her notes it was The Scotsman on Tuesday, which is situated not more than 5 to ten minutes, depending if you stop on the North Bridge and look around, It is the only bridge in Edinburgh that can boast views over Edinburgh Castle, The Firth of Forth, Leith, Princes Street and Calton Hill. The building used to print one of the national newspapers of Scotland,"

"This is fascinating Dr Mallard, your story, I do so like it when you relate tales of Edinburgh. Breena and I are going to wait until the baby is a little older before we go and visit."

"You will enjoy, but let me continue. Her next tea on the Wednesday was in the Caley, or should that be the Caledonian Hotel, it was the other station hotel but at the East end of Princes Street, Thursday, was a trip to Gullane in East Lothian near North Berwick and Greywalls, it is on the outskirts of Muirfield Golf Course. The open golf was there last year. It is marketed as an escape from the hustle and bustle of the city and set in tranquil surroundings. Afternoon tea diners are welcome to a complimentary game of tennis or croquet on the lawn or even a friendly game of putting, overlooking the Firth of Forth."

"And how did your mother get there?" Jimmy asked.

"She hired a chauffeur, and was chauffeured in a Rolls Royce Shadow with her friends. But Friday was the high light of her week, and Prestonfield Hotel, it is the most prestigious hotel in Edinburgh. Situated on extensive grounds at the foot of Arthur's Seat, but it is still surrounded by 20 acres of glorious grounds and of course the Royal Holyrood Park.

"Game on," Jimmy laughed, "But the menus?"

"Ah, the menus. As I maybe mentioned earlier, afternoon tea was invented, by Anna the 7th Duchess of Bedford, to see her though from luncheon to dinner. So there was always a selection of finely cut finger sandwiches, usually egg mayonnaise, smoked salmon or smoked ham, and of course the cucumber sandwich which always curls at the edges. Then there are the homemade scones, with clotted cream and preserves, along with homemade cakes, and sweet treats, usually pastries. There is of course, if a good establishment, a selection of up to 20 loose leaf teas, none of your bagged stuff," Ducky continued.

"My Dr Mallard, you are making my gastric juices just ooze with the thoughts."

"And I believe now days there is the chance to upgrade and have champagne, with your afternoon tea, but I myself, think it a disgrace to the experience," Ducky added. "Maybe I should invite the team round one afternoon to experience, the experience."

"Oh, Dr Mallard, that would be great, but when did you set off for York?"

"Oh yes York, maybe we should finish our tea and continue with the autopsy," as Ducky now drained his cup and rising turned back to his guest.


	3. Chapter 3 York

"As I mentioned earlier, mother and I had afternoon tea in the Balmoral, it was very leisurely and not at all rushed, but the journey itself took about 2 and a half hours to travel to York, I caught the 17.31 from Waverley, Platform 1, and arrived just after 8 in the evening. Did you know that the clock on the tower of the Balmoral is kept 2minutes ahead of real time?" Ducky now asked, as he now lifted what was left of the Captain's heart and handed to Jimmy for analysis.

"No," was all Jimmy could say was, "But why?"

"Because everyone is always late for trains so if they keep the clock two minutes fast then it gives the traveller two minutes grace, very psychological."

"Wow, maybe everyone should do that."

"That Mr Palmer would defeat the purpose. But I digress, I decided to stay in the rather grand Royal York Hotel, it was adjacent to the main line and was situated in quiet gardens and it over looked York Minster, a fine example of a Gothic Cathedral, and it is the second largest in Northern Europe. The hotel was also very close, within walking distance, to the National Railway Museum."

"Did you do anything that evening?"

"No, I was feeling tired, so had dinner in the hotel and went to bed and read. The next morning refreshed, and having had a full English fry up, I made my way to the Railway Museum. It was a wonderful experience. My namesake, as you know, was designed by Sir Nigel Gresley. In 1938 it broke the world speed record for steam locomotives, a record that has never been beaten. She plied the east coast line, which I may add is a delightful journey, hugging the coastline, overlooking the North Sea. As it was summer and a glorious evening, the journey was particularly enjoyable."

"Would you recommend the train then to get from London to Edinburgh, Dr Mallard?"

"I would most definitely. It is now days so clean and fast, and of course centre of Capital to capital."

"So, then what did you do?" Jimmy asked, as he watched Ducky now extract what was again left of the Captain's liver, and offered him a dish.

"Oh, I had found this charming ale house, Ye Old Starre. It was licenced in 1644, and is York's oldest pub, it has a warren of small rooms and a small beer garden, with a half-dozen real ales on tap. It was used as a morgue by the Roundheads during the Civil War, not that I dallied long each day I may add. York is a wonderful city full of centuries of history. It was the capital of Britannia Inferior, the Emporar Severus proclaimed it thus. And it is a little known fact Thomas the Rhymer, a Laird and Prophet once said, and may I quote, York was, London is and Edinbruch 'ill be, the biggest and bonniest o' a' three."

"Fascinating," was all Jimmy could mutter, "But please continue."

"It would be, as if York was the capital of Britannia, and as you know London is, but it is sinking, it would be a wonderful thing if Edinburgh was to become so," as Ducky now stopped working and looked thoughtfully into space.

"Are you well Dr Mallard," Jimmy now asked in a concerned voice.

"Quite my boy, but most of York's Roman archaeology is hidden beneath the medieval city in particular the Roman fortress, it is under York Minster. After the Romans left, many centuries passed before the Vikings plundered the city. Jorvik they called it. Jorvik Viking Centre, is not billed as a museum but as an "experience"; and may I say it I does smell, they have replicated the old village, and in places it smells of hot boiled piss, but that could be the pigsties," as Dr Mallard now held his nose.

"Was it back to Edinburgh then, or was your mother going to meet you in York?"

"No, I returned in the late afternoon of the Friday, mother was snoring contently, but we were to have a long journey in the next couple of days. But we had or should I say mother had again booked us into the Savoy in London for the night, and we were going to take in a London Show. So since we would be flying the next morning early, I too retired," Ducky concluded.


	4. Chapter 4 Concorde

The pair had been so busy talking they didn't hear Tony arrive in autopsy.

"Dukman, the Boss was wondering if you had anything for him to go on. And I couldn't help overhearing, The Savoy, and a London Show. I remember in my 18th year, when I was 17 and stayed in England with Uncle Clive, we did London. Oh yes the West End, the lights, the shows," as Tony began to act the showman, "What did you go and see? We saw the Mousetrap," Tony now asked, as he saw Ducky now pass the Captain's brain to Jimmy.

"Oh hello Anthony, I was just regaling Mr Palmer of mother and my holiday of 2003, it was a vacation to remember," Ducky replied, "And we too saw the Mousetrap. It has been running continuously since 1952, not with the same actors I may add Mr Palmer."

"Yeah and we all know that the…."Tony began to say as Gibbs now entered the room and head slapped Tony.

"Now DiNozzo, don't spoil the ending. Doctor anything for me to be going on with?"

"What the Boss means have you done all your d…ouch Boss that hurt, was going to say digging," as Tony rubbed his head again.

"And what I have to say, is that we are really no further forward. I have sent tissue samples to Abby for analysis and all I can determine is that our guest is so badly mangled, that we may never know what actually killed him. But Jethro, as soon as I do have any findings after all our detective work you will be the second to know…or maybe the third, after Abby, Jimmy or I find first," as Ducky smiled a sly smile at Gibbs, who just glared, his eye twitching slightly. Gibbs did not like being humiliated like this in front of others, but he knew Ducky had got his revenge. Tony just smiled and followed Gibbs from the room.

"Now where were we?" Ducky now asked Jimmy with a smile on his face.

"The theatre and The Mousetrap," Jimmy answered also smiling.

"Oh yes…..but I must tell you how we got to London. It was again a lovely Saturday morning, and we again made our way to Waverley Station, this time in nothing more glamourous than a black cab. The train journey would be the same as I had done to York, but as we had left early 9.30, and arrived 13.52, because we were early starters, we had a cooked breakfast on the train and then a short cab journey took us to the Savoy. It is actually quicker to go by train to the centre of London than fly from Edinburgh to Heathrow, as you have the waiting time at the airport and then the time wasted from the airport to London centre. The train also gave mother time to read and write up her journal, as well as to eat."

"Fascinating," was all Jimmy could say again.

"As we were going to arrive in early afternoon, mother had opted for the matinee performance, which would start at 4.00pm. This did not, Mr Palmer, give us much time to change but we could not dally, and would have a light supper after the show, and then another early night, as we really would have a big day ahead."

"Dr Mallard, did you not fancy visiting any of London, the places you had been during the War?"

"No, most of mother's contacts in London were either dead or in homes, and I don't really know anyone there anymore. But, I must continue, not only with our autopsy but with my tale. As I mentioned, we were to fly back with Concorde. Since 9/11 there was an increase in the time for long haul flights and since the flight was 10:30 in the morning we would need to be there for 7:30 and thankfully since it was a Sunday and the traffic light it would only take about ¾'s of an hour to get there, So having had our early night, we were up sharp at 6:00am," as Ducky now motioned to Jimmy that had really nothing more to do here and that they should maybe clean up, and have another cup of tea.

As Jimmy now returned from the wash room looking refreshed, he saw that Ducky had also changed and the guest had departed for the night, and Ducky was seated at the desk.

"Breena isn't expecting you early, is she, as we could always finish our conversation tomorrow?"

"No Dr Mallard, I have texted her and said I would let the rush hour clear, in fact do you know Doctor, sometimes it is quicker if I say late than if I go early. It is as if I meet myself coming in the door as I am already there."

"Do you know Jimmy," as it was out of hours Ducky thought it was fine to now call Jimmy by his name, "Our journey to Heathrow was without incident and we sailed through the check in and through customs and into the departure lounges. As we were travelling by Concorde we were shown into the VIP British Airways lounges where I might say we had the most delightful petit déjeuner, I say petit, because the luncheon on Concorde was really out this world," Ducky laughed, "But Heathrow is a ginormous place and once we had coffee and a croissant mother decided to do some shopping. I of course got engrossed in people watching, and the Sunday Times crossword, I happened to lose track of time and of course mother, it was only when I heard the call for our flight I realised she had wandered off."

"Oh dear Dr Mallard, what happened? What did you do?"

"I immediately informed the departure gate, who then put out a BOLO, so to speak for mother. I realise now that it was the dementia that was making her forgetful, but I need not have worried as I suddenly saw one of those staff buggies, draw up and on it mother waving."

"Where had she been Dr Mallard," Jimmy now asked in a concerned voice.

"Mother had got into conversation with an Australian couple who were going back to Koburra or was it Kookarabooka, she said it sounded like a kookaburra and wanted to see one, so she had wandered with then to their departure gate. It was only when the staff spoke to mother and asked where she was going did they dispatch her, so to speak, to the correct gate."

"So Dr Mallard, she made the flight then?"

"Yes, but we did have only minutes to spare, but she was quite adamant that she was going to Australia next vacation. As we took our seats on Concorde, you may or may not be aware it was quite small, only 100 passengers and being a single cabin so to speak was therefore an all premium service and the premium was 1st class, which you can imagine was rather cosy and of course very elite."

"And expensive, but at what time did you eventually take off?" Jimmy now enquired

"The time …10:30am, and the journey would take approximately 3 and a half hours, which is actually quicker than that train journey we had taken from Edinburgh to the heart of London. But I digress, as breakfast had been early, and the coffee and croissant at what would have been breakfast, the luncheon we were given on board, was considerably amiable, and although we were travelling at Mach 2 we did not drop a drop of the fine wines or food we were offered. And as you said earlier Jimmy about sometimes feeling you arrive home before you might have done. It was indeed strange to reach New York at what looked like a time before we had actually taken off. And did you know that in 1985, Phil Collins played both the London Live Aid concert and then the Philadelphia concert on the same day, courtesy of Concorde?"

"No I didn't, and I don't understand," Jimmy quizzed quite perplexed.

"We arrived at 09:35am which was rather strange for mother as looked at her watch and demanded that we have breakfast, having forgotten we had just had lunch. And because of the time difference Mr Collins played London early and then the American concert later that day. "

"But it was the dementia setting in was it not, Dr Mallard?"

"I'm afraid so, I just hoped that she would remember something of the vacation, but I knew she had brochures and lots of photographs."

"So did you travel home that day?"

"No, I was not wanting the 6hr journey in the car back to Reston, so we had booked into The Park Lane Hotel, Manhattan, it wasn't far from the Cruise departure point and where we had left the car, and mother thought it so English. We didn't do much the rest of the day and as we had booked for one night, we did have a walk through central park and then back to the hotel and again an early night, as I had to collect the car and then the drive back to Washington. But Mr Palmer I have detained you too long and I am sure Breena will be anxiously awaiting your return," as Ducky now stood.  
>Jimmy also stood and putting on his coat, he watched as Dr Mallard did the same and placing the fedora on his head, Ducky had one last look about and switching the light out, the pair made their way to the elevator.<p>

"Dr Mallard I have to ask, you and your mother, you got back to Washington without any mishap?"

"Of course Jimmy, she did sleep most of the way, but I think that was the Wild Turkey she had consumed the previous evening."

"Well goodnight Dr Mallard, see you tomorrow," as Jimmy now ran off to his own transport and home to Breena.

Ducky, on opening his car door sat in the driver's seat, and began to reflect. The journey to Reston had been terrible. His mother had disagreed with everything Ducky had said and done. Criticised his driving, accusing him of leaving her at Heathrow, to which she had to find her own way to the departure gate, leaving her in Edinburgh, while he gallivanted, about York. Ducky stared out the windshield gripping the steering wheel, for how long he didn't know. It was just that it had fallen into place on the way home. The dementia, but he couldn't tell Jimmy that it was only when they had got home, if he had realised sooner, he maybe could have got help sooner, but then as Jimmy had said it was always the closest who were the last to find out or was it acknowledge, but as he turned the key in the ignition, he thought to himself and smiled, yes, he would invite the team and Breena round on Sunday for Afternoon Tea, and he would make sure it was the height of decadence.

The End.

watch?v=Cr-Ye4go6QM

watch?v=YeEB2Lxb ... e=


End file.
